The Incredible Power of Listening
“I feel like I got to say something!” The urge to say something to defend, explain or indict is powerful. And sometimes it absolutely necessary to say something and to speak out. Silence can be complicit. But in an age of social media where our ability to say something is just a click away, I’m fearing that we have forgotten about the incredible power of listening.
It is through listening that we best communicate value and convey empathy to both friends and enemies. Knowing the power of the tongue, the Bible instructs to be “…quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)
Asking questions and then listening was central to Jesus’s life and teachings. In the Gospels, Jesus was asked many more questions than He answered. Of the 183 different questions He received, Jesus answered only a handful. He didn’t always act on that urge to say something or even do something. Consider the blind man in Luke 18. Jesus didn’t assume the blind man wanted to see. First, He asked, “What do you want me to do?” Then He listened.
The Barna Group found that 62% of non-Christians & lapsed Christians say they'd talk about faith with someone who “listens without judgment” That was the top quality they value in order to have a conversation with someone about spirituality. Unfortunately, only 34% see this trait in Christians they know.
Could it be that the way to change the world is to listen? Or at the very least to listen before you speak. Unfortunately, many Christians are more known for their talking than their listening. We so badly want to change the world and we mistakenly think it’s going to come through what we say. But as we learn from Jesus, the way to change the world starts with listening before we speak. Any relationship starts with listening to someone’s words and life.
In 1816, René Laennec, a French doctor who was uncomfortable about placing his ear directly on a woman’s chest to listen to her heart, invented a tool that doctors continue using today: the stethoscope. He was famous for telling doctors and nurses, “If you use this tool, don’t stop listening to your patients—they will tell you how to heal them.” Laennec didn’t want doctors to just listen to hearts and lungs with his invention. He wanted to make sure they still listened to the words and feelings of their patients. I wonder if we understand that we can be a huge gift to others just by listening to the hearts of others.
When we studied the life of Jesus and how he blessed people around him we were able to narrow it down to five consistent practices that were a part of his life. We put them into an acrostic and wrote a book, B.L.E.S.S. 5 Everyday Ways to Love Your Neighbor and Change the World. The second of the five practices was L - Listen.
A writer friend once told me, “Dave, everyone has a story, but few people who will listen to that story.” One of the most practical and powerful ways we can be a blessing is to simply listen. Listen to people. Listen to our community. Listen to our co-workers. Listen to our classmates. Listen to our neighbors. Listen to the hurts, the needs, and the pain of the people in our lives. Listen to their stories and discover what they really need. True listening may be the kindest and most Christ-like gift you can give someone.
